Usually when I write one of these I have a fresh new idea that Jesus has been teaching me over the past week or so. I’m usually excited to sit down and spill my thoughts and the words tend to come easily. This week has been a little different though. I started writing a few days ago but I felt like I was forcing something that I really don’t know well. As I read over the words I had written, the general premise seemed quite vague and to be honest I was trying to keep it alive because I liked the funny parts I had written. Things weren’t working out so I ended up scrapping all of it.
As I write this now, I’m very tired and my mind is slowly plopping out ideas that may or may not be fully comprehensible. But what’s delightful is that Jesus shows how sweet he is in any moment, even in the uninspiring, mundane and terribly slow.
This morning I was reading in Ephesians, painfully trying to keep my eyes from clamping shut with every bit of will power I had. I started in chapter four which immediately follows Paul’s prayer for the church to know the love of Christ that is beyond knowing, which is a pretty weighty prayer. Paul then goes on to urge the church “to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called” or in other words, to apply Jesus’ unfathomable love in our daily lives; again, another massive statement being made. Now when I think of being worthy of my calling I tend to think of doing hefty and significant things for Jesus, things that in my eyes would be more pleasing to God. But Paul doesn’t urge the church to build things in a manner worthy of our calling. No, he urges us to walk. To stroll. To stagger. To take it slow and to do it “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love…”
The more I walk with Jesus, the more I realize that he isn’t in a hurry. He waited thousands of years until he came down to be with us. He didn’t start his ministry until he was 30. He hiked around Israel for 3 years with his best friends. He didn’t need to but he did to show you and me that he is in it for the long hall. And that’s what love does. It wades into the mire, grabs your hand, and slowly, gently, painfully walks through it all with you.
This is where I was wrong. I thought that living with Jesus meant that he was going to blow my mind with some new idea of looking at our existence every week or give me a clever new way of describing what life with him was all about. I idealized my relationship with Him so when I couldn’t come up with something new I started to panic. But Jesus is gentle and patient and puts up with me when I start demanding instead of just letting him slowly draw me in. So tomorrow may not blow my mind but that’s ok because I know that the God of the universe is going to gently, patiently, and lovingly walk with me every step of the way.